Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just saw a hot homeless man
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize