how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
