woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
