I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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