do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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