don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
