Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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