i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
someone owes me an orgasm
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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