im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
