help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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