Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
