i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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