Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
