Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
