What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
