White coat. Heels.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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