How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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