First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Small penises have feelings too.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
