Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
