Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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