Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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