OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
