someone get that fucking seahorse.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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