I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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