Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
