Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
