the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Randomize
