I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
