I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
