I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
