it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
zippers are such a cool invention
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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