great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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