when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
