I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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