I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
