My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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