When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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