5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
