When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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