i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
