Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
