I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
