Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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