just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize