Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
