speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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