I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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