You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
