i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
