Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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