He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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