party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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