The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sext me about skeletons
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize