Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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