i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
