Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
