They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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