I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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