Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
