so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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