i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
