i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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