She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Im part way to drunk.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
