got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
