Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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