You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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