Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
