worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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