It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
