never play flip cup with pint glasses
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
