Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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