I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You are the jesus of drinking
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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