I am puke
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
