Need sex. Gaining weight.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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