in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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