I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
