it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so let's talk penis.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i believe in u and ur pee
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