Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
